Promotion At Work T-Shirts

"Cash, Jordan. That's what separates man from the apes."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"This is their 'Working Mother of Four' coffee special. They must know what I go through."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'Let's not go by the book.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

In basket-case.

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

Others will fight for you

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

A fight in the Boardroom.

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

Reach for the Star.

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

The MBA Draft

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

Areas of the Body Where Stress Can Manifest

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'