Newborn Warriors Pillows

'That little fella has quite a burp on him!'

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

'Beware of teething baby.'

Buggy with Snowplow.

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

"Call him Koffee- he keeps us awake!"

Mime Baby

"It's a good boy!"

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

Woman feeding baby is covered in food.

"No, they didn't live happily ever after, but they fared pretty well relative to every other miserable slop in the Dark Ages."

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

Pinata good bags.

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

Kids with skates waiting for the ice to grow.

Maternity tattoos

'Hey, Dad. We learned all about the Kama Sutra at school today... Oh no, not the Kama Sutra, I mean The Magna Carta.'

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'

'Go forth and multiply!'

"I changed my mind – no more kids."

"Triple whammy."

"He keeps touching me!"