Newbie Welcomer T-Shirts

Welcome to our team.

Good Luck!

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

'I didn't know ostriches could swim.'

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"That was too many fresh original voices for one night."

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

'I tried running once, but I kept spilling my drink.'

"The doctor told me I needed to burn some fat, so I'm grilling a steak!"

Computer books for dummies.

Some people like coming home to a dog. Carly preferred an 8 piece funk brass band.

Please seat to be weighted.

'That's way too irregular. I recommend regular exercise.'

SOARING BILL

"Okay, maybe we should count assembling the exercise bike as your first workout."

"Your fingers are the only part of you that's in shape. Apparently, the only exercise you get is texting."

Fisherman's new baby.

"I can't believe I'm in college. I never even found Waldo yet."

"Sure doc, I can eat healthy tasteless food and exercise until my lungs implode. Or, you can just inject some drain cleaner into my eyeball and save us both a lot of time and trouble."

'I can't believe it... no subway, no taxis, no fast food spots, no busses within a radius of 400 meters... my gosh! I've never made such an intensive nature experience!'

"We’re not on the Upper West Side, and there aren’t any ‘better tables’!"

'Johnny Wilmot experiences the Grand Canyon'

"Before you run a marathon maybe you should start with 50 yards?" Set acheivable targets.

'Your first lesson is free.'

'Am I going too fast for you?'

'Touch my toes? I can't even see my toes!'

'It's so weird at college, mom. The kids there are so different.'

'Doesn't give us much to look forward to, does it?'

'Of course you can move back in with us, Son... but after only one day?'

"Well, I'm glad to hear you're finally using that tread mill!"

Walk right in. Sit right down.

Bravado in the novice professor may simply be an attempt to compensate for a lack of experience in teaching the classics.

"You may well have been here first but it doesn't work like that."

Slimming Club: New Members Entry.

"Last year, you said you were signing up to a gym...it it nice?"