Newbie Parent Mugs

'Sorry, Holly!'

'How's it going?!'

'Shouldn't you be out in line...'

"Tomorrow we go back to the hospital and replace him with a quieter model!"

City Zoo: Day Care

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

A young Don King

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

Cry babies.

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

The Baby Walker

'I told you it would be useful.'

'Ahhh...'

baby sweetcorn...

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Interior design trends for parents....

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"They're so adorable at that age!"

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."