New Technology Acquisition T-Shirts

"Our smart Christmas tree has an alarm that goes off every 10 minutes if it's not taken down right after the holidays."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

"You haven't enjoyed the Yule log till you've enjoyed it in high def."

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"It's strictly business. Please don't take your financial ruin personally."

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

'There's a gentleman out here with $643 million. He would like to discuss a takeover.'

Having moved to a tablet, the farmer's wife was done with mice. . .

"I hear you have been split testing our online advertising campaign. I haven't got a clue what that is but stop it now."

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

'Could you be more specific than a king's ransom or an arm and a leg.'

No - None sense, take-charge, inc. - Formerly: Happy-go-lucky, inc.'

'Cards for all occasions: takeover, buyouts, mergers, flotation, bankruptcy.'

Predator, Inc bought Prey, Ltd

The AdRams Family no.1- Computers for kids

'Do you think you can turn the company around without making us all dizzy?'

"Gentleman, come in! Come in! Let me take your company."

'Should our firms merge, which one will be the girl?'

'I'm sorry, miss. We are planting a forest here, so you'll have to move.'

"Hello? JS electrical? It's about this flat screen television I purchased from you."

'He works in Acquisitions.'

'I can't wait to get the money for one of those new laptops, this foot-top is killing my back!'

'Consider this an unfriendly takeover, if you wish, but takeover it is!'

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

'This is your idea of converting your boat to a sailboat, a sheet? And while we're on the topic, is that one of my good sheets?'

Two years ago, during a special episode of the Ask Sadie show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Here is an actual reader letter: Dear Sadie, My son just taught me how to use an iPad, so I am writing to tell you that doing so makes me feel young again. You might want to try it. - Nathaniel from Ontario. Thank you for helping me feel young! I may not be as spry as I was back in the old days ... but at least I've never taken two whol

'This contract proposal needs more work. I'm not experiencing any twinges of guilt over it.'

"Don't anybody move: this is a merger."

Anheuser-Busch agrees to US$52 billion sale.

"I'm texting my compliments to the chef!"