New Team Assignment Gifts

"So how did the team respond to your ideas about changing the office?"

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

Teamwork!

"Don't worry about missing the meeting, Henshaw. We assigned all the actions to you."

'Hey, I'm not paying you people to watch the clock. That's Henderson's job.'

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

Win - win

"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to far, go together." - African proverb.

Surprised chicken: 'I know. I can't believe it either.'

Speed of assimilation VS New team members

'I'm confident that with the right mix of role-playing exercises and prescription medication we'll make a cohesive team.'

"There's always a period of adjustment whenever you hire a new crew."

'I still say there are better ways to decide which positions to eliminate!'

Welcome to Teamville, Population: 7 ... great people to work with.

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

There's going to be a lot of this around here.

'The only thing I'm sure of is death and taxes and home work.'

"I need to take a call. Argue amongst yourselves."

"The new boss might seem severe, but he won't bite your head off!"

"Here is the one pager we all agreed on..."

'I'm the new kid on the team. Where's my signing bonus?'

See? This is precisely why we don't encourage office romances.

'The dog ate the flash drive with my homework on it...but I hope to get it back real soon!'

Avoidance of Situation/Work required to succeed.

"When I agreed to working closely with you on this project..."

'Individually we could do nothing. So we formed a committee which determined nothing could be done.'

'You will be appointed principal of a school and you will resist change for your entire career,'

'He's not leaving, but if we collect enough, he might.'

'Are you sure this is part of the Yankee farm system?'

Footballer's Luggage

'You know the rule, new guy carries the lotion.'