New Pencil Collector Mugs

Back to School.

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

Bribes for Jabs

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Bingo night.

"Oh, come on! Nobody brought a pen?"

Stationers' sign leaking ink onto a passer-by.

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"Harry?... Is that you?"

Hamlet in the craft shop.

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"I need a special pencil for math...one with a lot less wood and a lot more eraser."

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"My dad says this pencil was once used by William Shakespeare." "Is it 2B or not 2B?"

Office: Empowerment Drawer.

Cello player with pencil instead of bow

Biro Security

"It has come to my attention that yous needs some protection."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"I've run out of invisible ink..."

The Appearance of the Gatling Machine-Gun in 1864 caught the world by surprise.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

'It's Jones Sir! He's showing of his ball point pen again!'

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

Empty landscape containing food and stationery.

Pencil sharpeners in hell

'Yes, the wood on this pencil is from a renewable source.'

"The only think we'll be able to shoot at soon will be that right to roam lot..."

"Now now, what have I told you about using your zombie knife at the dinner table..."

Indian snake charmer charms a snake.