New Parent Techie T-Shirts

At the modern antenatal class.

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

The cell phone soother for life.

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

"Aah! Bless! Look at him on his I-pad!"

The Digital Family

Downloading Pregnancy

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

"Getting dark, Sweetie. Better text Mom you love her."

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

"The Internet ate my baby!"

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

James Gandolfini in his driveway with a tablet

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

'Keep in mind, some assembly is required.'

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

"So that's two votes for save and one for delete."

'So tell me again. Why can't you sit on the eggs and tweet at the same time?'

'It's no use! His computer tablet has replaced his blanky!'

Geeks and their dogs.

'Have you googled me to see how old I was when I was born?'

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'

'Your son stopped passing notes to his friends in class. Now he's text messaging them.'

"Go ask your search engine."

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

Newborn Uses Smartphone To Send His Dad A Text Message.