New Parent Planner Gifts

Maternity ward.

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

Babies.

"Please, James...will you stop worrying whether the baby will meet all government regulations!"

Baby name suggestions.

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

"After the whole history of human evolution, you'd have thought a bigger birth canal would have developed!"

Baby in womb chooses from multiple choice pregnancy symptoms...

"I didn't realise it could be so complicated!"

"I'm going to need more minutes. I'm texting for two now!"

Constructing your own prison!

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

Frog Baby Names

'I can't say what the market's going to do, but you're going to have fourteen children.'

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

Baby reading 'To do list'.

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

"It's a Facebook Friend Request."

Mothercare - " I'm going to shop till I drop."

'Good news dear, the doctor says we're going to have twins.'

'Help me, sir... I want to save my last sip of lemonade, but it doesn't work!'

Please take a number.

"Are we there yet?"

'I don't get it! Not one of these books gives the same advice TWICE!

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

"I hate to be a dream snatcher but your baby is going to be just average."

"Ironically, this all started with a little poke on Facebook."