New Neighbors Gifts

New around here?

New neighbours

"Pack your bags and cancel your plans. The neighbors invited us to dinner and I told them we'd be out of town."

'I see the new neighbours drive a battered old Skoda. I do hope they're scum and not inverse snobs..'

'You should see what they're doing next door - it's disgusting,'

'The Purbrights aren't snobs, they're birdwatchers.'

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"First time pruning?"

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

"We thought we would come somewhere remote to self-isolate."

Picking pastries.

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

"He loves his leaf blower."

Canape?

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

Annoying neighbours - irritating wind chimes