New Job Hunt Pillows

'OK, I see you're highly competitive. Is there anything else you wish to add?'

Positions for 'Asskissers'.

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

Where your mind & battle are los

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

'Let's not go by the book.'

Butterfly Woman

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'How fast can you hype?'

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

Others will fight for you

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

Work/Life Balance

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

Outer Space Outsourcing

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."