New Job Aspiration Gifts

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

Where your mind & battle are los

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

'Let's not go by the book.'

Butterfly Woman

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

'How fast can you hype?'

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

Others will fight for you

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

Outer Space Outsourcing

Work/Life Balance

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

Bo're'droom

Woman carries the world.

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'