New Home Tour Gifts

"And those, I believe, are my stepchildren."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

LAY ZEE FUK

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

Lady of the Cake.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

The wonderful world of cheese.

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Gardener

Allotment

"And this is our media room."

Rose Garden

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

Beach Barbecue

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

'With my parents out of the house, I can finally start my long awaited mural project.'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Get... a-nother room!"

Candle Portraits.

"The following film has been formatted to fir the screen of the newer and more expensive television set."

Getting to Know You