New Home Repair Journey Gifts

'I tried fixing it myself, but no joy I'm afraid.'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

'I found the termites!'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

A DIY disaster.

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

Do-It-Yourself. Do-it-yourself-With-Good-Friends-and-Pizza-and-A-Few-Beers.

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."

We're putting on a subtraction.

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

'Well, that's fixed that.'

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of dealing with emergency plumbing problems are the hardest.'

'Certainly. Here's the break-down. Seventy-five dollars for my labour. And seventy-five dollars for you impersonating a plumber.'

"The blow drier is broken."

Artex cartoon

"Was it a fuse?"

'Hey, 'Houdini', after you figure out how to levitate the cork ou tof the bottle, I can use your magic at the kitchen sink.'

"Okay, lady, your new carpet is installed...you can let your dog back in now."

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."