New Home Owner Pillows

Man looking at his shower-bath on a cold morning

Man sweating profusely while shoveling snow in his boxer shorts

"This is the precise reason I didn't want bamboo flooring."

Decorative Evidence

"And, that's the new extension for my new plasma TV screen."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

LAY ZEE FUK

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

Lady of the Cake.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

The wonderful world of cheese.

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

Allotment

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Gardener

"And this is our media room."

Tool Box

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

Beach Barbecue

Rose Garden

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

"Get... a-nother room!"

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'