New Firefighting Job Pillows

'The trouble is all we ever do is firefight.'

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"As I understand it, after this scaffolding comes down the city will be done."

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

The World's Easiest Airport

Woman escapes with cats.

The World Wide Web.

'Put a tick under 'very toxic'.' (New Orleans Toxic Clean-Up Team).

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"Wait, there's another fold? No wonder we have so many extra stones."

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

'I said 'Shall I put the cat out?''

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Rollercoaster opens when it is still being built.

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

"I came as soon as I got the message!"

The New Normal

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"He excels at putting out fires."

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

Brickie's Mate

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

"Wow, these e-readers take forever to burn..."

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"The third leading cause of forest fires."

"These are the environmentalists who set the Amazon forest on fire!"