New Diagnosis T-Shirts

'When you suggest that I might want the second, third, or even the forth opinion...are you saying my condition is THAT bad?!'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

LAY ZEE FUK

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

Lady of the Cake.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

Allotment

Gardener

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Empty box of ideas

"And this is our media room."

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

Beach Barbecue

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

Rose Garden

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

Getting to Know You

"The following film has been formatted to fir the screen of the newer and more expensive television set."

Candle Portraits.

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"Get... a-nother room!"

'With my parents out of the house, I can finally start my long awaited mural project.'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'