New Date T-Shirts

"You've been really interesting ever since we got through your origin story."

James Bond in a Snow Globe

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Director/Action Man toy.

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

Carbon Dating.

Working in the Hazard Zone!

Stand-up Romcom

Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

Steve McQueen

Standard endings for sci-fi movies...

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

Now Playing at the Europlex

Next camera crew 5 mins

"And the award for the best use of AI in a movie goes to..."

'I love this street...it's so real man...'

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

"Which part are you reading for?"

Filming Christmas

"Well, what are you doing after the millennium?"

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

A 1920's film director with hand-cranked camera and megaphone.

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

Professor Tulp meets his match