Failed Date T-Shirts

"Hi! I'm Jim Burns, your computer matchup."

"This is definitely the last time I arrange a date over the internet!"

Carbon Dating.

"Well, what are you doing after the millennium?"

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

"Just our luck. We finally see the 'feel good' movie of the year and it's December."

'I told you not to order the chocolate cream surprise.'

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

'Sorry I am late - have you been waiting long?'

"I failed my driving test...apparently I shouldn't have been texting!"

'You know creativity involves a high tolerance for failure, don't you?'

Do you mind if I nibble on your exclamation points? !!!

With the family car in the shop for repairs, Jason borrowed his dad's truck to take his date to the prom.

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

"Hey, no kidding! I prefer slow dancing, too!"

"This is all very romantic, but I can't see my fork."

'It's our fifth date, so I'll take a box of impatience.'

Are you honestly trying to play footsie with me? I never mix footsie with honesty.

'Maybe you need to practice walking.'

"They grow up so slow."

"It's gotta be a good place – we've been ignored for well over an hour now."

'Quick Betty, come round to the Red Lion and wear your highest heels.'

"A nutcracker!! Hey...this thing looks used."

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

'It's not you, Richard. It's your ring tone.'

'When I said you could pick me up at 8, I assumed you owned a car.'

'This beeper goes off when it's my Birthday. This beeper goes off on the day we met. This beeper goes off on Valentine's Day...'

'My website? Oh, it was a bit of a one hit wonder.'

'I didn't know our relationship was SUPPOSED to be going anywhere.'

"You've been really interesting ever since we got through your origin story."

First Attempts: Wright Brothers. Hair-plane.

'Some have a love life - I have a 'can't-stand-for-the-man-to-be-right' life.'

"You must believe me, Jane. I have excellent narrative skills."

'You write books, you say!'

"You're the first guy I've met who really listens and blah, blah, blah..."