New Dads Mastering Parent Acrobatics Gifts

"Support the head."

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

'The kids were so sweet...'

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

Children in fancy dress on the way to music lessons

"See what happens when you go swimming after eating!"

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

Children's Nursery

The inventor of the Slip 'n Slide becomes a father.

Baby gets blame for father letting off a fart.

'More toys! The way you kids spend, you must think bananas grow on trees.'

'Mom can I have another apple?'

Baby Footballer

He knows a few words, but he doesn't stay on message.

Playerpen - 'Naptime already?'

Add your kids' ages together...

'It never fails. Two pizzas exhaust Dad as much as a 10 mile run exhausts me.'

'Around here your mom is the management. I'm just the middle management.'

Father's Day

Stuff You Do In Pre-natel Class.

'We're running combat maneuvers on our 3 year old?'

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

'Wait a minute! I want it stirred, not shaken!'

'Apparently this is called 'Nesting'.'

Mix up on the maternity ward.

'I'm a house-husband.'

"Daddy has to clear his head for a few minutes before he can deal with 'Babar'."

'The ultrasound went well: Now, we just need to agree on 1263 baby names...'

"She's a natural!"

'Changing diapers isn't so bad, as long as you don't look down.'

Maternity. Which one is yours?

'My wife says it's compulsory - that the Queen made a speech about it.'

'His is bigger.'

Please queue here for contraction service.

"Sorry I'm late, dad! Which number?"