New Cook In The Family T-Shirts

"Tia Carmen, did you ever use a stool to cook?"

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

Lady of the Cake.

Domestic Goddess.

'I'm in my Blue period.'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

'Like death by salad.'

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

Horn of Leftovers

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

"Prepare to meet your maker."

How to correctly estimate cooking time

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

Ernie likes to fix things around the house. Just today he's fixed two sandwiches, three sundaes, and some microwave brownies.

'What's that humming sound?'

I made you a cake!

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

Surprise in the salad bowl

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

Family working together

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

Ten out of ten for effort...