New Cohabitation Gifts

Trouble Ahead

"After two years of dating, we decided it was finally time to move in together."

Cat and mouse

'He's strictly an indoor cat.'

"Next year we put the cats outside before we hibernate."

'But you have your own drawer - what greater display of commitment could you want?'

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

"That word-puzzle gloat of yours is getting old fast."

"When we agreed that you would move in, Mr. Goodrich, you didn't mention Rex."

LOVENUTS: 'We had just about had it,' Paula says.

I think my girlfriend is moving in.

The Messy Sink

"Good night. Sleep quietly."

'Oh no, it's that 'come hither and do the dishes' look.'

90% of annoying habits are discovered after you start living together.

"You go right on snoring, doesn’t bother me one bit. Your snores are beautiful, do you know that? I love snoring…not like some people."

"Your hogging the covers again."

"There's one home in this area within your price range, but it has a mouse."

"It's god's little get-back.... She had special haloes made for those who never put down the toilet seat."

"Can I move in with you?"

"I've been thinking about what you said about three living as cheaply as two"

"I'm sick too."

'Either she goes, or I go.'

Fences Make Good Neighbors.

'We were divorced, remarried, and divorced again. Now we're just living together.'

'That's the thing when you start living with someone - you discover all of their little habits.'

"As far as roommates go he's fine, he just leaves deadly traps everywhere."

"Oh! So this is where you hide all the blankets you steal from me every night!"

Frog and Toad are a little bit sick of each other.

"As a matter of fact, yes. I do object to you moving in with my daughter... My daughter lives here!"

Shacking up Bureau

"You finished in there yet?"

'Mr. Knucklepopper, I'm putting Ms. Gumsnapper next door. This way the percussion is all in one section.'