New Age Explorer Pillows

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

'I want to tap into my higher self.'

"...Ouch...Ouch...Ouch...Ouch..."

New Age Store.

New Seekers, New Danger, "I'd like to teach the world to sing..."

"He's a very alternative vicar - he's installed wind chimes.'

"Have you spoken to an herbalist?"

"My wife bought this polished stone with the word 'joy' inscribed in it ... I'd like to return it."

'If you ask me, these 'New Age' guys are becoming way too soft...'

Californians Abroad.

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"I had the usual religious upbringing, but then I converted."

Our Life Coaches: New Beginnings Retreat Center

The Chameleon Spa

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

I'm Bored With Educational Toys

"Home depot."

Albert & Myra - The End Story

he tries to fly all the time but actually never gets airborne

"All I did this summer was go fishing, camping, bike riding, swimming, boating, and go the movies, carnivals, fairs, concerts and games. I'm bored."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'The path to becoming an astronaut is rougher than I thought.'

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

Happy holidays for kids.

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

"I don't care if you saw this in a western..."

'You must heal yourself.'