Neuter Surgery Gifts

Dog Stripper.

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'So this is goodbye then!'

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

Mother's Love

"Little Lucas doesn't go anywhere without his weighted blanket."

'Where my balls go?'

Romulus and Remus

"Fuhgettaboutit, Charley. Ya been fixed."

Moms gone wild

"We're just going for a routine checkup ... they only do that operation once."

Young Pups In A Chat Room.

"Gotta love happy hour!"

Breastfeeding

In an alternate universe, characters from the rough draft and finished manuscript of the same novel meet themselves at a cocktail party.

'I've been fixed even though there wasn't anything wrong with me.'

#NoJunk

'Marvelous Makeovers. Hair by Debby, Nails by Fawn, Laser surgery by Dora.'

"Don't you understand, he's a Creature of the Web?! If he doesn't log on soon, it'll be too late!"

'Anorexia definitely isn't in this girl's vocabulary.'

"I'm the building inspector...that nest okay?"

"I'm not surprised that lady's so fat. . . The baby's been blowing her up for hours."

'Great draft. It just needs a little exfoliation.'

Walking the Dog.

Babies clocking on to collect Milk.

'I'm all into recycling, but I won't miss mom's regurgitation thing one bit!'

"You haven’t earned this."

"The Onesie keeps me from scratching the stitches. The cone keeps me from seeing the Onesie."

Smotherhood

'So much talent in the world, and not nearly enough roles for grandmas.'