Neurotic Narrator T-Shirts

'Nobody believes a word I say!' 'Oh, come now!'

Neuro, Biology, Chemistry, Feedback, Psychology, Technology, Physiology Institute

"I don't know what I'm going to do...my presentation is due on Monday and I haven't even started...I'm not sure I know how to speak."

Woody Allen

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

'The Neurosis Pack.'

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

'Hello Doctor. I'm Ed Shannon and these are my neuroses.'

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

Death By Mattress

"He took that kinda hard."

"My problem is I obsess over whether I worry enough."

"I hope they read the fine print that the audiobook is to be voiced by Morgan Freeman."

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

'Every time I go on an ego trip, I get hijacked by terrorists!'

"Stop telling me how well you did on the written."

Giant brain with an arrow through it sits on Freud's psychiatric couch.

'Maybe YOU'RE projecting!'

Horses are nervous animals. . .

'Are you having a mid-life crisis?', 'Let's hope so.'

From the tournament of neuroses parade

"Why do I feel so angry about feeling guilty about feeling embarrassed about feeling scared?"

'They say the secret to public speaking is to pick out one person in the audience and talk to him.' 'Well, did you?' 'Yeah. Unfortunately the person I picked out was snickering, pointing and whispering to the guy next to him.'

'Sit tight — I'm going to call for backup.'

"Right foot, left foot, inhale, exhale, right foot..."

'That's just for videos, Jeffrey -- book reports don't have to have FBI warnings.'

Pick Your Own Neuroses

"Lately life is just a bed of neuroses."

Jocasta Mothering.

Male Brain, Female Brain. . . Your Brain.

An Industrial Inferiority Complex. '... Nobody likes me ... other industries are better than me ... I'm only slightly neurotic.'

'Oh, come on — nobody can feel that inferior.'

'Well, he still has his neuroses, but at least I cured his insomnia.'

"I spend most days fretting."