Neurotic Narrator T-Shirts

'Nobody believes a word I say!' 'Oh, come now!'

Neuro, Biology, Chemistry, Feedback, Psychology, Technology, Physiology Institute

"I don't know what I'm going to do...my presentation is due on Monday and I haven't even started...I'm not sure I know how to speak."

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

'The Neurosis Pack.'

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

'Hello Doctor. I'm Ed Shannon and these are my neuroses.'

'Every time I go on an ego trip, I get hijacked by terrorists!'

"I hope they read the fine print that the audiobook is to be voiced by Morgan Freeman."

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

Death By Mattress

"My problem is I obsess over whether I worry enough."

"Stop telling me how well you did on the written."

Giant brain with an arrow through it sits on Freud's psychiatric couch.

Horses are nervous animals. . .

From the tournament of neuroses parade

'Maybe YOU'RE projecting!'

'Are you having a mid-life crisis?', 'Let's hope so.'

'They say the secret to public speaking is to pick out one person in the audience and talk to him.' 'Well, did you?' 'Yeah. Unfortunately the person I picked out was snickering, pointing and whispering to the guy next to him.'

'Sit tight — I'm going to call for backup.'

"Right foot, left foot, inhale, exhale, right foot..."

'That's just for videos, Jeffrey -- book reports don't have to have FBI warnings.'

Pick Your Own Neuroses

"Lately life is just a bed of neuroses."

Jocasta Mothering.

'Oh, come on — nobody can feel that inferior.'

'Well, he still has his neuroses, but at least I cured his insomnia.'

"I spend most days fretting."

An Industrial Inferiority Complex. '... Nobody likes me ... other industries are better than me ... I'm only slightly neurotic.'

"If you hear me scream . . . Dear God, Jesus Christ, what are you doing, then I want you to apply your foot to the brake!"