Network Reporter Pillows

"Any network reporters left?"

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Squeezing the Free Press.

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

Press Freedom

Gay Times...

Difference of Opinion

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

A little bird told me...

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

Man Reading Laptop.

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

'He was a great writer'

'Hey!! What gives, there's nothing but a bunch of squiggly lines on this newspaper.'

Turkey, present day...

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

"Reports that AI is planning a world takeover are greatly exaggerated."

'Stocks rose on the rumor that the market is mostly rumor-driven.'

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

Newspaper suicide.

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'