Network Magician T-Shirts

People Who May Know You

'How fast can you hype?'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

Team Leader

The Life of Pi

Instructional guide to scribbling

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

'The path to becoming an astronaut is rougher than I thought.'

If Disney was a software company

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

"Well, I'm studying mathematics and I'm sure that's tougher than math."

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

Stupid Microwave

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

The Forever Stamp

'My mother says I have a vivid imagination.'

Professor of Fuzzy Logic.

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

Tommy, Math quiz. It's one of his earliest pieces.

Man rotates profit chart so it shows growth not loss.

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'