Nerdy Jokes Aficionado Gifts

"It's not just you. Neutrinos are going right through everybody."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Why do they do that?"

What's normal?

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

'I have the result of your cost-benefit analysis. You should have retired four years ago.'

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

Trainspotters a group of trainspotters outside a church taking down details of a Bride's wedding gown train

Now Hiring. Artificial Intelligence & Research Lab. "Artificial Intelligence"? Great! I'd be a real asset to your project since I'm not as intelligent as I look!

'You have bullseye rash. take this medicine twice a day and stay away from dart games.'

'I'd like to return this shredder.'

"Congratulations! You've told the same joke one thousand times!"

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

"How's this? Hot enough for you?"

Pavlov's dog eats Schrodinger's cat.

'Evolution may be a good idea, but how will we FUND it?'

What could have been quite possibly the most hilarious dog joke ever is interrupted by. . . 'So I said, that's no bone, that's my. . . squirrel!'

School of hard knocks: Mail box 'Knock-knock jokes'

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

Flytrap nerd.

You've lost an electron? Are you sure you're all right? I'm positive.

Another reason why a high school diploma is not enough.

The Principal of Inertia.

"So, I said to the lion, 'You want proof laughter ensures emotional health?... Ever seen a hyena in therapy?!'"

Clown in supermarket looking at a tin of Canned Laughter.

'Lion!'

Today, we'll talk with Professor Ernie about some lesser known units of measurement. Let's start with the "light-year." A 'light-year" is a unit of time measuring how long somebody stays on their diet. In most cases, it's counted in small fractions. No, a light year is a unit of length equal to the distance light travels in a year, about six trillion miles. What about the "angstrom"? The "angstrom" is a measurement of anxiety levels! Incorrect again. It's another unit of length --- It's

"Remove your shoes and socks. We ran out of laughing gas"

Lost to antiquity.

'You're not making it any easier for either one of us.'