Nerdy Humorists Pillows

Heisenberg Witness Protection Program

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

Trainspotters a group of trainspotters outside a church taking down details of a Bride's wedding gown train

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

Pi fight!

"Hey samson, nice man bun."

'Looks like this part of the beach has been claimed.'

'Don't throw the little silicon chips away -- we may find a use for them someday.'

"How's this? Hot enough for you?"

"Maybe Earth's primordial soup did contain polyester."

4-Panel: (1) 'Did you read this article on cockroaches?' (2) 'It says scientists have confirmed conditioned reflexes in cockroaches, just like Pavlov's dogs. I don't know if I believe that!' (4) 'What's for dinner?'

Pavlov's dog eats Schrodinger's cat.

Newton discovers surrealism

Harbor Hotel: 'Absolutely NO swashbuckling after 10 PM'.

Lie detector, "It's a goddam liar bird all right."

'I see dumb people wearing 'I see dumb people' shirts.'

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

Flytrap nerd.

The Principal of Inertia.

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

"The most common adverse vaccine reaction after the first dose is trying to get the second dose."

Social median

Robot porn.

Born Cynical,,,,

"Your calculations are right- it's our teabreak!"

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to marry Rosie O'Donnell.'

"Possessing both sexes, the Hypoplectrus gutavarius mates with another Hypoplectrus gutavarius, each switching roles after each encounter."