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"Possessing both sexes, the Hypoplectrus gutavarius mates with another Hypoplectrus gutavarius, each switching roles after each encounter."

"Your calculations are right- it's our teabreak!"

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

Ostriches making out

May all your birthday wishes come true..

"Underweird bras."

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil clowns is that good clowns do nothing."

'Edible food! Eeeeedible food!'

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

Trainspotters a group of trainspotters outside a church taking down details of a Bride's wedding gown train

Now Hiring. Artificial Intelligence & Research Lab. "Artificial Intelligence"? Great! I'd be a real asset to your project since I'm not as intelligent as I look!

'I've got an amoeba here who wants to go to Officer's Candidate School.'

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

"How's this? Hot enough for you?"

"Maybe Earth's primordial soup did contain polyester."

Pavlov's dog eats Schrodinger's cat.

'These drinks have been watered down.'

'The wife has me on a strict 'O Negative' diet.'

"A see through nighty? God who'd want to see you through that?"

Frank and Ernest's Cerebral Questions. Today's question is would an "elbowhead" be smarter or dumber than a "knucklehead"? (Published originally on October 12, 2015.)

"It's not just you. Neutrinos are going right through everybody."

Flytrap nerd.

You've lost an electron? Are you sure you're all right? I'm positive.

The Principal of Inertia.

Social median

Horses are nervous animals. . .

"I said 'blow job' not 'blow chunks'."

Farmer Doll!

Mom's Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.95.

Adult Magician

At First Van Gogh attempts to impress by cutting off his ear flap.