Neo-extended Family Gifts

'Neo-extended family'

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

Paul goes home for the holidays

"Were we expecting a baby?"

Family members!

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'I see from your C. V. that you're my son...'

"This might take awhile, Lord."

Mime Baby

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

The Forever Stamp

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

Contest of wills.

Send us $2.00, and we'll send you Your Family Tree

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

Pretzel family.

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

'A mother complex! Are you sure?'

Couple with lots of kids. Woman says: 'This is our daughter, my son from my first marriage, John's daughter from his second marriage, and I've no idea who the one on the end is.'

"Before we begin, I think you should all know that I once smoked a reefer in 1935."

Family Feeling

"Someday, my dimwitted son, all this will belong to your sister."

A couple with a new baby

The Hendersons: The Shitty Years

Inclusive family code in Cuba

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

"The doctor says Tia Carmen is resting now...he's encouraging all family visitors to go home. We'll see you back here tomorrow."