Neo-extended Family Gifts

'Neo-extended family'

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

Paul goes home for the holidays

Family members!

"Were we expecting a baby?"

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

"This might take awhile, Lord."

Mime Baby

"We've done everything in this book, and more. There's nothing left."

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

'I see from your C. V. that you're my son...'

The Forever Stamp

Contest of wills.

Send us $2.00, and we'll send you Your Family Tree

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

Pretzel family.

'A mother complex! Are you sure?'

Couple with lots of kids. Woman says: 'This is our daughter, my son from my first marriage, John's daughter from his second marriage, and I've no idea who the one on the end is.'

"Before we begin, I think you should all know that I once smoked a reefer in 1935."

Family Feeling

Harold was pleased to discover that his grandson was also a big tool fan.

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

"The doctor says Tia Carmen is resting now...he's encouraging all family visitors to go home. We'll see you back here tomorrow."

The Hendersons: The Shitty Years

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

"Someday, my dimwitted son, all this will belong to your sister."