Neighborly Nuisance Navigator T-Shirts

"The people upstairs are talking about us. We should bark them another opera."

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

Noisy energy?

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

"Brooklyn is the Manhattan of the other boroughs."

'Look, honey, the baby's got your mouth.'

"I'd know my tinnitus anywhere and this isn't it."

"Pal, you're a guitar lesson flyer in a math tutor part of town."

'It's the people downstairs again.'

"I'll tell you the same thing everybody's telling Donald Trump - stop your damn tweeting!"

'Niche apres tenure. Niche before and you're toast.'

"If a sixth borough opens up, I'll let you know."

"Sorry Capt., but it's a pretty bad termite infestation..."

I'm beginning to regret the hearing aids.

Niche Marketing

It's great, but you never want to buy the best house in the neighborhood. For sale.

A musical instrument shop is positioned next to a silent treatment shop.

"We must be in the wrong wing."

Things You Should Know About...

"I find that incessant barking eases the pain."

THE SMITHS/THE JOHNSONS

Dave began to suspect that he had moved next door to the neighbour from hell.

"We're looking for a traditional suburban neighborhood with all the urban amenities."

Town follows the snow plough.

'Whoever said practice makes perfect never had kids with drum sets.'

Nature Magnified

"Okay, so I've outgrown my niche in Organizational Behavior. I'll re-niche."

Echo Hills - Please bear with us while we lower the decibel level.

Mountain Bike tracks.

"Why is that moron screaming so loud at something that isn't there?"

"Between the price of a comic book and having to pay the bully down the street not to beat me up, my allowance is spent the same day I get it!"

I love a lazy Sunday. What do we have planned, Dear? Just the usual. Oh yes. What time shall we do it? How about now? Sounds good. I'm ready. One, two, three … You kids get off my lawn! Now let's snuggle. We're not even on your lawn! Quit sassin'!

'Well, thanks for getting me involved. Now I have to stand in the 'naughty corner', too!'

I've found it! It was in the bread box! You've found the lost cellphone! SMASH! CRASH BOP! SMASH! Today's feature is offered as a catharsis for anyone who has ever lost a cellphone and been forced to listen to its low-battery beep from some undiscovered place. SMASH. Final beep (Death).