Neighborhood Sleuths T-Shirts

"I can't meet you in the park today. The cats suspect something."

"You've got to stop coming here, Ben—the neighbors are starting to bark."

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

The Consequences of an Interrupted Shower.

"You're moving into a place where all the parents live well and all the kids test well."

Yesterday you lost your sheep and suddenly, today, Mary next door has a little lamb... Pretty big coincidence is all I'm sayin'.

Robinia Floribunda

"Everyone's so nosy. They act like they want to be left along, but they're always nonchalantly eavesdropping on everyone else....some more nonchalantly than others."

Interrupted Shower.

"I walk into their yard every few days and knock over their trash. How do you know the Johnsons?"

'Beware of the Dog poo'

"So we figured why explore Mars when, closer to home, there's still so much we don't know about the Petersens."

"Good defenses make good neighbors."

"And, in suburban news, construction of the new, attached four-season solarium at 6870 Evercrest Drive continued amid the silent, seething envy of the neighbors."

'Yeah, neighborhood crime. That's what I watch all the time 'cause our TV is broken.'

Neighbourhood watch with mother

"You got another letter from the neighborhood association..."

'As there's no one left to talk about then one of us had better move!'

'We bought thinking we'd enjoy being only a stone's throw from the playground.'

"Maybe the new neighbors know something we don’t."

Even with the new freedom of information act I can't tell you if that woman at number 28 is really only 76...

"Yes, Frank's a slob, Mary...but I doubt that's why aliens haven't used your landing pad!"

"I've never known anyone as nosey as you."

Oh, I live next door – acting cute to get the neighbor's treats is just a side hustle.

'Beware of the husband.'

'We're selling videos of the wild wild neighborhood party. . .'

'Is your sore throat stopping you from keeping up with the neighbourhood barking frenzy? Try Auto-bark! It will mimic your bark to keep up with the big dogs, long after you've stopped.'

He likes to pretend to look at the stars when he was really looking in the neighbors' window.

Matched pair

'Everybody go home now - or I'll speak this party in nothing but my granny panties.'

"Don't rush me! I finally found someone who knows about our new neighbors!"

'The neighbourhood Watch Scheme!' "Damn, his roses are doing much better than mine"