Negotiating Pillows

"In return for an increase in my allowance, I can offer you free unlimited in-home computer tech support."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

Thanks to compromise they were moving closer.

'Don't let it throw you - It's just a negotiating tactic.'

"I'm getting the fire-breathing dragon with wings. He wanted $200, but I talked him down to fifty bucks."

"The salary is negotiable, take it or leave it."

"It's agreed. I'll try to get the best of you and you'll try to get the best of me."

'For the last time, it's called a 'win-win' contract. Nobody gets whacked.'

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'Behind every great business deal is a company lawyer advising against it.'

"Relax, Ashwell. We don't say 'Ka-ching' until the deal is signed."

"I gotta admit, he's one hell of a negotiator."

"Remember, in this negotiation you're the 'Paula Abdul.'"

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"Just to get the negotiations off on the right foot, I don't intent to concede anything."

"....and don't forget to ask for more overtime."

"Let's compromise, you forget about a pay rise and I'll forget about a pay cut."

Do you want to win the game or my business?

"Use diplomacy. If that fails, you could try force."

"I had no idea his constant barking was a problem. Thanks for letting me know you're bothered by it."

'All right, all right, Hershman, you can go attend the 'improve your negotiating skills' seminar.'

The merger almost didn't go through.. I had to throw my wife in.

How Not To Start Off A Negotiation Process.

"Suddenly I'm not sure we're adequately prepared."

"Well, your people heard wrong. We are not prepared to sweeten the deal."

'I love it. It's a win-lose situation.'

'Mack's a closer. That's why management loves him.'

'Drop dead. Well that's a good start to our union negotiations.'

'Any wriggle room?'

"And for an extra fourteen hundred dollars I'll stop touching your arm."

'I wish I could accept your offer but I really wanted to sell the whole car.'

'You drive a hard bargain, but okay -- newspaper pipe, AND slippers.'

'Never accept the first offer. Always hold out for more.'

'Tug-of-negotiation and conciliation'

' ... so, after the union won a 35 hour week I said, 'Why don't we now try for a zero hour work week.''