Needle Keeper Pillows

KNITEO ERGO SUM!

"Ours is not a creative clan."

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

'Minyan Man! You've saved the day again!'

"The Chinese Zodiac told me to marry a sheep. Who am I to question hundreds of years of ancient Chinese wisdom?"

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 11.

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"I'm getting too old for this..."

"What happened to the good old Jewish holidays when all we used to do was eat?"

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

A house cat fishes in a goldfish bowl

'Go on - they're organic!'

'I haven't been able to go to sleep in this new bowl.'

"We always have pizza for Easter dinner because that's what my mom gives up for Lent."

"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"

"I'm just making a few behavioral notes in my journal, then I'll chase him."

Acupuncture clinic

Acupuncturist Society Cocktail Party - 'For heaven's sake, Brian, it's only a pineapple chunk!'

The Maryland School of Art's Class of 1998 Celebrating This Week's Commencement With The Traditional Thesis Painting Toss.

The trick to losing weight is to eat a small portion and wait 10 minutes. By then your resolve has caught up with your appetite!

Ugly Holiday Sweaters

"Today we will focus on how the author makes the same exact complaints about here life, from her sixth birthday and on."

"He's retreated into nationalism."

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

The Christening Party

"I don't care what your father said, Santa likes milk and cookies NOT beer and pretzels!"

"Don't talk to your dad - he hasn't had his morning coffee yet!"

"If we're doing such a good job of keeping the devil away, how come we have so many of these infernal machines around here?"