Navigating Relationship Issues Pillows

"It's probably bad news if she refers to the second date as 'mission creep.' "

"What kind of fear am I dressing for tonight -- trembling, quaking, or just some casual gibbering?"

Ernie, your personals ad doesn

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

'Great Therapy!'

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"My wife complains that I'm cold and self-serving."

"We don't talk anymore."

'Well I wouldn't have to fake orgasms if you didn't fake foreplay!'

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

Their relationship was doomed to fail. She was frigid, and his arms were too short to rub one out.

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

"What do you mean?! That apology is the best piece of fiction I've ever written!"

"I fell in love with her. Then she mutated."

DIY marriage counseling.

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

Snow White and her husband go for counselling.

Houdini attempts to escape a relationship.

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

Bingo Saves Christmas - Part Three

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

Opinion Dislodgement Disorder (ODD).

Relationship Issues.

"Your mind is somewhere else." "My mind is somewhere else."