Navigating Early Parenting Stages T-Shirts

He was at that awkward age.

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

Suffering from Cooties?

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

We tried rocking her to sleep, but she still seems tired and cranky.

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

Human Behavior Institute. Out Experiencing Lunch.

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

"Congratulations—It's a well dressed boy."

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

"And that little pinpoint of light? That’s our new baby."

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

"Yes! I hit a triple. Woo-hoo."

Polly, want a cracker, but Polly need a glass of wine.

'The suspense is killing us. Which one is our grandchild?'

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

'Son, the world is ripe for the taking ... you better stay home with me.'

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

"Boy, the kids are growing up so fast!"

"Bless, Poppy's first tweet!"

Early childhood development

'This is not fair, mom. . . none of my friends is forced to hibernate before December.'

'He's more supportive after his nap.'

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

"Dad—will the heroine go into rehab?"

Biker couple with their baby in a side car.

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'