Naval Forces T-Shirts

'Only one man in 1,000 is a leader of men. The other 999 follow women!'

Servicemen.

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

When laundry ruled the waves.

'Sweet! Let's break it open and see what it is!'

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

Ishmael's First Day on the Pequod was Full of Surprises: "A harpoon!? Don't you practice catch and release?"

"He wanted a heavily decorated cake for his birthday."

Kamikaze Colour

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

COWMIKAZES

'But you're an admiral. How can you feel seasick on a waterbed?'

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

'Hardy I see no chips!'

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'So, what do you want to talk about?'

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

"Destroyers"

Sub Editor

Coup thwarting

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

AUKUS Deal Annoys France

"International trade"

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

"Port outbound, starboard home."

"Let's see, this one is cherry flavored, I think this one is blueberry ..."

"I am wearying of the crew's constant repetition of the same old sea shanties."

'Silent type, eh?'

'Okay who swiped my bath toys?'

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

"Get those decks cleaned you swabs!..."