Nautical Pillows

The Private Doubts of Christopher Columbus.

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

'I need to buy some gas, but I forgot my wallet. Do you have $18,000 on you?'

Pessimists saw a ship sinking. Optimists saw that they needn't worry about the Norovirus.

'The employment agency said you were looking for someone to do light housekeeping.'

"There's nothing wrong with the ship. We just got a better offer."

The Mayflower "Contents May Settle."

"I know your rations include two limes a day, but please don't do that with them."

"I removed the carpeting and lo and behold, hardwood!"

"We haven't left port yet you dozy old duffer!"

Pirate with hook confronts pirate with swiss army knife hand.

"Take him back to the boat. He can still hold a winch handle."

"I got a swiss army hook!"

Small boat pulling up a ship's anchor.

'Now I know this is a long journey, and we're all gonna get hungry, but, and I can't stress this enough, you gotta remember to eat from the top down.'

Old sea captains queue to see Monster Whale Revenge.

Sailing

Pirate school.

'Caution wet deck'

Boat hits rocks because of dim glow from low-energy lighthouse

'1805 - aboard HMS. Victory - Captain Hardy falls for the old "no tongues" promise.

Titanic has sign that reads 'How's my driving?'

'Hold it, there! Prepare to be boarded.'

"I don't need to see that... Any port in a storm will do."

"We hooked up on one of those 'buoy meets girl' sites."

"What do you fancy for breakie?"

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

"You know what I'd like to try someday? Landlubbing."

"Ahoy!"

"Call me Ishmael."

"No, no, no! Walk the plank!!"

The temporary home of the international hall of brine.

"Well that's incredibly frustrating."

"Can I call you back? I'm going down with the ship."

Bottle Battle