Nautical Nuances Appreciator T-Shirts

"I understand you're a waterlubber."

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

'Cannonball!'

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"Harry—Let's get brunch and day drink."

Boat wedding.

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

'Heavy seas tonight, Mom...'

Captain steering house through flood.

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

Farmer and FIsherman

"Shall I let them breathe."

Lighthouse Beam.

Fishing boat.

Fish or Cut Bait

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

'Just in case there is an accident.'

'...the storm raged and the doctor got drunk to steady his nerves..'

COWMIKAZES

'Clem,the doctor told you to get away and relax.'

Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.

A large yacht carries a small wood house.

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

"There's always a period of adjustment whenever you hire a new crew."

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

'So, what do you want to talk about?'

'Of course I brought the emergency flares.'

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

'Keep pumping Mildred.'

Distractions.

"Look lively crew, lest we be dashed upon these scrumptious shores."

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

"Call me Ishmael."