Nautical Novelty Collector T-Shirts

A Jack Tar

Clown on bike.

Fly Football

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

hard-boiled egg...

Hay Rides $10

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

"Recalculating route..."

Fossil record player.

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

Apocalypse Research Center

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

'He's been there ever since he ate the parrot!'

A crab with a utility knife claw

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

Bathroom Fairy

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

'...the storm raged and the doctor got drunk to steady his nerves..'

A close shave on the Titanic...

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'Have you any W fronts?'

Lavatory Waterfall

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

'This thing better hold. I don't know about you, but I don't find plan B very reassuring.'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

Tin Can Operation.

Inflatable Hands with Index and Middle fingers showing on sale for spectators at a Sports Stadium Event

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

'These new metal detectors are great!'