Naughty Or Nice List Ponderer T-Shirts

'Well, it's finally happened. Everyone's on my naughty list.'

"We'll destroy it to the ground ... ...and then..."

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

'You may feel lost and insignificant at first working for us.'

Frog Baby Names

"That would've gone better if I'd gotten here with my gift list instead of my spelling list."

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

"I'll bet a lot of people wish they had a royal palace to return to."

'Cosmetic surgery.'

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

"You can't have it both ways, kid."

'I'm sure I've forgotten something. I got change from a fifty.'

'...if you look at it in the right way it begins to make sense.'

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

"At this time boarding first will be all first class passengers, a.k.a. the more important people on this flight."

'Does my posterior appear oversized in this?'

Snowball Fight With Santa

Fingers

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

"If I become 'Born again', can I fudge a bit on my age?"

"Having a fine old name really has been enough for me."

'Sure, but king benefits aren't portable.'

Selfie-Conscious

'And how long have you thought you are a hawk...?'

Corporate Ladder

"Remember to take into account my client had no life coach."

"Nobody ever illegally downloaded my recordings of the Beethoven Sonatas, either."

'Sergeant! Wake up the lazer guided slaughter-bot. We have a mission for him.'; Reply - 'But he looks so peaceful, Sir.'

The Bi-Polar Express.

Magritte realising he's going bald.

Which came first, the club or the hole?

'If you don't count your birthday...why should I remember it?'

Hmmm... what's my real purpose? Why am I here? - 'Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! Let me guess!' - 'Go on, then.' - 'Is your life a homage mediocrity?' - 'Ouch.' - 'Quizzes are fun! Ask me more!' -