Nature Buffs Pillows

'Hello, front desk? I'd like to leave a March wake-up call.'

Tortoise Mobile Home Sale.

'And I said to the Queen: Forget the colony's good, what's in it for me?'

'Can you believe it Harold? Our first trip down South. It's so exciting!'

"Oh, come on, Fred. You can't credit your entire metamorphosis to yoga!"

'Oh no, a whale-watching boat is coming our way: How do I look?'

'For heaven's sake Armitage - can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category?'

Hey there! I thought you guys were extinct!

The trick is to catch them before their runner's high wears off, dude.

"You guys cool with me hitting snooze for another few months?"

That's the last time I let you drive.

'It's my mantra.'

"Well, fancy that, I'm in honey too."

Woman with flower-style bra getting attacked by bees.

The truth about bears.

'Could you at least look like you're a little afraid of me.'

'I've got sand everywhere: IT IS SO ITCHY!'

"Twerking"? In our day, we called that "courting."

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

At the Museum

Albert Einstein

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

Apples for sale

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

Fusion Lab. Did you tell the boss we need more hydrogen? Yes, I told him we were out of our element.

God Sneezes Out Creation

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

'Upon entering the rain forest...' 'Thousands of unknown species, and we can fool around with the genes of every one of them.'

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

'I don't see why I have to pick it up. I'm not responsible for the law of gravity.'