Naturally Nourished T-Shirts

"It's gluten/carb/fat/preservative/sugar-free. Enjoy your Celery Supreme."

The Jeopardy of Progress

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

What are you giving Mother Earth this year?

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

North Pole

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"Where do we put Desserts?"

Raw food, after you leave for work.

Allotment

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

But is it organic?

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"Too much sugar."

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Bad for you but to die for

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

'Like death by salad.'

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."