Natural Bodybuilder Gifts

'He lifted two! That beats your world record yesterday of one.'

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

Muscles

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

Powerful Love.

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

"We're exclusively delts."

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

The rock caricature

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

Where Skim Milk comes from.

Bench Press Accident

Biceps, muscles and brawn

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

Executive gym with briefcases for weights.

"Can you hypnotise me into being in shape?"

"I love an ape, secure in his masculinity!"

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

"How long have you lived in this gym?"

Cactus with muscles and dumb-bells on ground.

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

Gym Dog

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

'Yes, I do a lot of rowing. How could you tell?'

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'Hey, there are pedals on this thing!'

'Can you take the lid off this jar for me...?'

"That's nuthin'. Yesterday he beat up Alex Rodriguez."

So that's it? I've tweeted a risque photo of my bicep. What happens next? We wait for the outpouring. I'm ready. Bring on the outrage. C'mon media! Let's hear your disgust that some old man would brazenly send such a lascivious photo. Then, with the world looking at me, I'll astound them with my idea of a universal health care system! Wait. Wait. Not yet. it's time for my first nap of the day. Can we do this later? What? Zzzzz. Best way for this to end.

Gym. It doesn't help when you call the ab workout a "journey to the center of the girth."

"Little Lucas doesn't go anywhere without his weighted blanket."

"I hate Tuesday. Tuesday I work legs."