National Security Enthusiast T-Shirts

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Neo-International Law

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

Military Medals

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

'Where was the TSA?'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"Either we spend millions on new technology to erase each agent's memory following a sensitive assignment, or we just start hiring people over fifty."

'General, please hire large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny.'

"The first one is for graduating from basic training. The rest are classified."

"Weather like this plagued my retreat from Moscow."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

"Ok, I found a secure line."

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

Lost around a military base.

Do you have a phone with recording capabilities? I want to be able to carry a wire when I meet with my boss.

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

"I started my career as an industrial spy-here."

Kamikaze Colour

Family Salutes as Father Comes Home.

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

CCTV in church.

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

"That's my dad back when he was, like, militarized."

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."