Narrative Analyst Prints

The movie was over. But not for Bob.

"Oh, c'mon. I wasn't that terrible!"

He dies at the end. There, I've spoiled every story ever written. Whether it's a person, a quest, ennui, a dream, a struggle, hope, despair, innocence, cynicism, a romance, a friendship, or an estrangement

The Three Passive/Aggressive, Co-Enabling, Chemically-Dependent Billy Goats Gruff

"Dial M for MacGuffin."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

Victor Hugo

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

Grimm's Reality Tales.

"Trump vs Biden. Chiefs vs 49ers. On the brink of war with Iran. Didn't we do this all in 2020?"

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

Why do you hate the media?

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

My Aunt's Left Hook Expels Uriah From The Chaise

"I'm after the history section."

Trump Overload

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

"And Jasper, dear Jasper, with his soulful eyes and great sagging jowl, would be stretched upon the floor, his tail a-thump when he heard his master's footsteps." Penny loved Daphne Du Maurier's 'Rebecca'.

"Oh, you haven’t seen holiday drama ‘till you’ve met our little family."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

The Truth

"That's Eleanor. She's a fact checker."

Rudy, I loved your memoir. It was fascinating. The way you overcame huge odds to invent the computer. How you went on to protect us from government surveillance. You know none of it's true. The way you swore yourself to humility. People so want to believe a good story.

"Tell us again — a little less graphic."

'And that one is the mistake I made in Act II, Scene III, line 14 of Hamlet.'

Reading room

“I’ve got an idea for a story: Gus and Ethel live on Long Island, on the North Shore. He works sixteen hours a day writing fiction. Ethel never goes out, never does anything except fix Gus sandwiches and in the end she becomes a nympho-lesbo-killer-whore. Here’s your sandwich”

Toni Morrison