Name Change Aficionado Pillows

'I'm tired of politicians ignoring me -- I want to have my name legally changed to 'Joe Six-Pack.''

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

"Donner and Blitzen are just our stage names."

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

Baptism Then and Now

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

'I had to stamp down on staff using nicknames at work. They even had one for me!'

Naming that Impala

A Transformer for grownups

Tom Cruise

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

J.P.Hensmore Superintendent AKA Head Honcho, The Big Guy,The Man, Numero Uno and The Big Cheese.

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

"Costs have risen by 200% and we are behind schedule. We are living up to our acronym gentlemen and I am not happy about it!!"

'I know you can make this project go. That's why I call you 'The Magic Motor'.'

"Really? 'Yeller'? That's what you want to name him?"

"Sinead?!"

'Then again, who says we can't call it a mangelwurzel?'

'My other baby is Mercedes'

What really became of the boy named Sue.

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

'Charles Frederick and Camilla Gladys!'

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

1,001 names to Embarrass Your Child for Life.

'Now that I'm King, no more of that 'Eddie' stuff, Mom.'

'For the sake of convenience everybody just calls me Joe.'

Mr Long and Miss Short.

William Shakespeare Civil Court Judge. Well, you can legally change your name, but it won't make any real difference, Rose.

"In my experience, cars with hyphens in their names are the best."

Changing house name.

"One of you will be Kevin, one will be Kev and one will be K. You decide who."

'Theodore seemed much more approachable when he began going by his childhood name.'