Name Aficionado Pillows

William Shakespeare Civil Court Judge. Well, you can legally change your name, but it won't make any real difference, Rose.

I've made up my mind. About what? About which virtual reality system to buy. I know what you're going to say: Get the Oculus Rift. That is not what I was going to say … and sure, "Oculus Rift" is a much cooler name than all the others. But Playstation VR would let me use the Playstation I already own. So I wouldn't have to buy anything new ... which is why I've ruled out the Playstation VR. Ugh! The thought of not buying new ... it burns! Not buying new would actually be new for you.

"Chelsea, meet Accrington Stanley."

'Charles Frederick and Camilla Gladys!'

'The problem with being a Chihuahua is that everybody calls me 'Pepe'... My name is actually Humphrey Reginal Windsor the Third...'

"In my experience, cars with hyphens in their names are the best."

"Well, well, well! Your parents certainly messed up when they named you, didn't they, Angelo?"

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Meet the author"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

Driverless cars rage.

"What did you download at school today?"

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

Strainspotting

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

Bot Art: After da Vinci

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

"I'm afraid I'll be replaced by a robot at work."

"Your feelings may be artificial, but that doesn't mean they're not real."

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."