Name-challenged Champs Gifts

"You're good at asking all the right questions. Now let's hear some right answers."

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

Useless information desk at trivia buff convention

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

"Brian, isn't Dry January and Veganuary enough?!!"

'...no you can't phone a friend!'

'Darling you'll be so proud of me, I've just written my first email. Now I must rush to get it in the post.'

"The seventh green is gonna be a bitch!"

Balloons vs. Rockets

'I want to thank all my obstacles for making this possible.'

Coronavirus Warriors

'I name this child 'Blumming Nuisance'.'

'All right, all right, I'm getting up.'

"Excuse me, is this the third turning on the left?"

'My mind's gone blank.'

'But I couldn't run in front Dad - I didn't know the way!'

Bertrand Russell.

"You're a quart low."

Died After A Brave Battle With Everything

"In business, before you know the answers... you need to know the questions."

'Never mind sir, going bald means less hair to keep tidy.'

'Read me! Read me!'

Any road I take is always the wrong road phobia.

"I sent you dry cleaning to France."

"I'm not sure we've QUITE got the hang of this video conferencing thing."

"I want my money back, please. That GPS you sold me isn't worth squat."

"Hey, man, to us you're just Bob. Around here, we don't do well with last names."

"First the TV remote, then the cell phone, Blackberry, iPod, and iPhone. Dad can't keep up with what he's supposed to lose."

"I don't mind change, as long as it doesn't happen to me."